The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
