words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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