Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
