he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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