Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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