i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
