How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
