Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
