i jhust puked up my retainher.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
