I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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