i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm like, not good at living.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
