He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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