thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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