jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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