so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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