Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
