i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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