hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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