You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
