I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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