My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
