I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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