she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize