Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
