Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
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