When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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