And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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