i jhust puked up my retainher.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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