just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
