Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
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Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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