I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
They took my balls.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
