don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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