What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
