is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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