I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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