I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
