I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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