things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
