You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize