do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize