I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
