They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
