she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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