Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You really coming over, don't trick.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize