We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
