The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
