I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
