I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
