i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
