yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just gargled with NyQuil
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
