I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Drake has all the answers
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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