Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
