I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
