I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
