i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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