you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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