It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
