herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
