i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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