Tell her she can't have a vagina
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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